2022-04-18 3:47 a.m.

Shimon Zehavit and me are driving north of San Francisco, i'm in 5'th grade. The nature is lush and really really green and beautiful, I love the nature here and nature in general, this looks a bit like Laos rainforest or something, but this feels a bit dangerous. I am remembering something important which I don't want to remember, but also kind of do. It all has such a cheesy 90's vibe, even the quality is low and a bit whitish.

Is this a movie which I saw together with my parents? Was this the first "adult" movie which I saw, and which I didn't really feel I was old enough to see? Why did they let me see it? And why did my parents like the main character in the movie so much?

We get to his house, and now I start crying a bit from nostalgia, the feelings are too strong. Here he is, the man , the main character in the movie. He lives alone next to a beautiful lake, a kind of a hippie. Also he reminds me a bit of Robin Williams / Mrs. Doubtfire. He is half naked when he opens, and immediately I am filled with both dread and lust for him. He is not too tall, but is very stocky, has white hairs on his chest, and small glasses, short curly hair. He immediately takes my hand and says "so this is you? It's great to meet you finally" or something like that and asks me my age, and I see his fingers - they are stocky but a bit mangled up from all the hard manual work. He touches my fingers, looks deeper into them, with a lust of flesh. I like it, but I'm too young and this also makes me mad. He takes me to the top level of the compound.

Where is Shimon and Zehavit? They went to their room? Why do I have this very strong premonition that we went there because Shimon already decided he's going to leave Zehavit and our family, that this whole trip is some sort of last goodbye for him? Are they having sex?

The man immediately starts doing weird stuff with meat, and holds my hand and forces me to do it together. He turns it around and cuts it, puts it on high heat and then takes out the fat from the meat. This is the goal, he is trying to extract pure fat from it. It disgusts me mostly, but also fascinates me. The man likes conspiracy theories and lives alone, but shimon completely adores him and wants to be like him, not stuck in his mundane life with Zehavit (and me?)

When the man finishes making the fat, its time to go to bed. Cheesy fade out, I go to my room, what will happen tomorrow?


Dream continues, or this is another dream? I'm in the man's basement, and I am a visiting soldier, I am the brother(?) of a semi-important sister commander who works in the base. Another soldier makes it a point to treat me super luxuriously, I get my own room to sleep in and he tells another soldier to evacuate it for me. I'm like "is she so important"? and he's "na I just believe in hospitality". I kind of want the earlier movie to continue, but instead it becomes the Taboola office, and eventhough I left Taboola, Keren gives me a task of going over a test of a candidate and call her. I am waiting for the next chapter with the man to continue, but it doesn't.
Another side dream - I am trying to get into Uni (Weizmann?) and not sure what are my grades. I don't remember anything, so trying to understand if I did the tests or not. Am I still qualified any more to work, or have I lost it completely in my time off not doing anything?
A longer side dream - It's my birthday, and all my family (my parents, Raanan, Omer, I think my friends as well) come to celebrate. Coleen is also there, she came to visit from the US. I can't understand her accent, and she actually seems kind of dumb which bums me out in relation to Maya genetics. I really try to like her, but she is too boring and basic. I help cut the cake, but then nothing is left for me even though I'm the birthday boy. That makes me really really sad, and when I tell Shimon he dismisses it. There's no cake left, a mistake was done in calculation, deal with it.

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