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you nice people bug me alchohol wearing off. soberness alert. ......................................... it annoys me that all i remember of a good day is the end, and all i feel is consequenced by the newer events. why cant i feel good cause most of the day was good? shit. so all day was fun. waking up, simpsons, moominim, taking broken video from elctricity shop, buying groceries, going with nir to shopping mall, hanging out in music record shops, going to tatto parlor to check out designs ( i saw a cute tattoo of a frog. it was so adorable. should i do it? hmmmmmmm ), eating, going home, then going out with nir,ayelet, shira, dor, and 2 of dor's female friends. having a good time, getting half - drunk, but slowly it all slips away, slowly im dealing with a self destructive anti social mind yet again, slowly crumbling apart, slowly getting home with images of things crashing and breaking. im pathetic. and i miss biting my arm. i know, the reason i started biting my arm doesnt exist anymore, but i really miss it. i really miss the short pain caused by my teeth, the short pain which symoblizes so much frustration. i miss it. but i wont bite myself. i'll just go to sleep. i hate it when i make myself feel this way. like clenching my fists, and then opening my fingers and doing this strangling move with them in the air. arrrrgggghhhhh. ......................................... maybe i should stop hanging out with dor. he annoys me, he frustrates me, he makes things complicated ( ofcourse its all in my head ... i dont really blame him for anything ). he's leaving in a month anyway. fuck you . to self - "leave dor alone. leave everyone alone and go to sleep. you're just tired, and experiencing post drunk feelings. go to sleep. stop thinking." ........................................ quote of the day " you nice people bug me" - me it probably should be " you nice people make me bug myself "...... ..................................... |