mario-land.
2001-12-30 6:27 p.m.

i just read this in some diary. now this, this is just extraordinar.

"Linkin Park has this song- which, in true Linkin Park fashion, sucks like a sex toy- called "In the End." Generally when this song comes on, the station gets changed or the radio gets turned off or I shove pencils in my ears, or something like that. But a few weeks ago as I was cleaning the kitchen with the radio playing, the song started to play and, not really wanting to damage Nick's radio with my soapy wet hands, I let it go, listening reluctantly.

And it all made sense. The song isn't nearly as awful as I had thought. This new insight almost made me forget how much I hated this manufactured rap-metal boyband ("NSync with screaming and angst. Lots of angst."). For a minute, at least... but it all made sense, you see, because the song is about Super Mario Brothers.

[v1p1]

It starts with one thing

I don't know why

It doesn't even matter how hard you try

keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme

To explain in due time

All I know

This is the basic set-up. Verses are Mario talking to King Bowser, and the whiny screamy guy is Mario talking to the player. This part of the first verse describes the basic situation- Mario always starts the game in the same way, same title screen, appearing in the same place into the same fucked-up world that Bowser has distorted. And he's confused as to why anyone would do this, but he knows what he has to do, and that no matter how hard Bowser tries to kill him, no matter how many bottomless pits he falls down, he will return with a press of the start key.

[v1p2]

Time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down to the end of the day

The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal

Didn't look out below

Watch the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on, but didn't even know

Wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

Mario begins the explanation of the timer which taunts him throughout each level, killing him if it should ever reach zero. It flies by, counting down in time units faster than seconds, but he's still spending that short amount of precious time/life in persuit of Bowser. Not to say that he is always successful...

[chorus]

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

Failure. Linkin Park here make Mario out to be some sort of complainy emo boy, whining about how he got so far through the game only to fall down a pit, losing his last life and being forced to start over, but even then, at the end of the day, the player will just turn the Nintendo off and forget all about this eternal struggle, rendering Mario's existence meaningless.

[v2p1]

One thing, I don't know why

It doesn't even matter how hard you try

keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme, to remind myself how

I tried so hard

In spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I'm surprised it got so (far)

Mario here reminisces about all his past conflicts with Bowser and his family, in all of his castles, and is amazed that they have lasted through so many games, on so many gaming systems.

[v2p2]

Things aren't the way they were before

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me (in the end)

You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

Mario points out Bowser's constant manipulation of the Mushroom Kingdom, turning its inhabitants into bricks and planting his various nasties all over. Mario has obviously just eaten either a Magic Mushroom or a Fire Plant, distorting himself in ways that Bowser had not planned on. Finally, an attack by Mario, letting Bowser know that even though he's dedicating his very being to ending the reign of this giant lizard king, and the player is sitting attentively trying to help him do it, ultimately the game is about himself, Mario, and not Bowser, not at all. And thus Mario draws his speech to Bowser to an end, but not before admitting that even his own struggles will only be forgotten. In the end.

[coda]

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

And for all this

There's only one thing you should know (2x)

He's trusted the player implicitly with his life, only to be put down, shut off and forgotten. Until the next time, in the next game. Mario is not a quitter. Oh no. Mario never forgets."