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swimming in shit.
2002-01-19 1:30 a.m.

sometimes i'm depressed. mostly it is because of only partly rational stuff, because of small things happening and triggering emotions, whilst eventhough some things are bad most things are pretty good. even after all.

today.

is different.

because. now you can dissect my situation, piece by piece, and come to the conclusion that, i'm plainly, swimming in shit.

each and every corridor i go into is less hopeless than the other.

each mistake loss fight headache that this past day has given me was like a dagger to my heart. and my heart can take only so many daggers.

now there are 2 continuations to this : 1) things will get better. something good will happen. SOMETHING!!!! 2) it will sink down, and i am already very near to total mental breakdown.

which one? ............................................ i just looked in the mirror. and into my eyes. i swear to go my eyes weren't those of a living creature. dead.


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