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there. you have it.
2002-02-07 1:18 a.m.

hmm.

to tell or not to tell.

i have this outstanding urge to tell. to tell ofer. to lift the weights off my shoulders. if only to him.

yes it is not the wise thing to do. not today.

right? right? RIGHT?

one weight will be lifted but new will be smashed down on my heart.

but maybe, maybe, maybe there's a chance i can just set myself free?

-am i really gay? rationally i am. yet when i think of telling suddenly i have doubts myself. cocks? up my mouth? open rectums? disgusting don't you think? but kissing a boy? looking into a boy's eyes? licking his back? feeling his arms? carassing his hair? why did i ever hesitate?-

so there you have it.


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