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15 more days. sir, yes sir. i dreamt that i kissed julia roberts after i told her that she isn't any good except for being a bit beautiful, and then kiano reebs or how ever his name is spelled came and kissed me and while he kissed me i remember vomit going up my throat and me telling him to stop because it's to weird for me. ................................................. some guy from the pub i go to with dor and shani saw me there and i'm not sure who it is, but it seems he saw and immediately got a crush on me or something. (and didn't come to talk to me) because his friend met shimon (the cute guy) a couple of days later and the friend told shimon he had to have my number because that guy is smittens over me. (actually it's a much more of a complicated story which i don't really understand myself but that's the main point) now it's not very sure but it might be the cute guy i was telling about some entries before (which we eyed each other passionately). the most sexy cute thing in the world. it can't be. what should a guy like that look for an ordinary guy like me? so it must be some fat guy who didn't talk to me because he thought i'd reject him. but then if i didn't eye him how did he know i was gay? i don't look gay. very complex i tell you. i'm 20 percent ecstatic about someone being smittens over me and 80 percent freaked out about giving my phone number and talking to him. ............................................... all in all, i can put my fingers to my forehead and say how it's all ever so tiring, or maybe how i can't deal with this weird life anymore, but all in all, really, i'm handling life brilliantly. i admire myself. i just have it all together, in the big picture. who would have thought? ................................................. tommarow my friend lior is going to the army. good luck to him. he's actually going to a combat unit and it's fucking scary. i don't want to think about that so i'll won't. but i can think about the fact that now that's it. everyone's in the army. (except for dor who is doing a year of volunteer work for society, so he will go to the army in 7 month or so...) so i'm the last one now not in the army. and me too, don't count on me, count the days until you lose me, count 15. weehee. ............................................... ernest, my friend, why did you have to kill my lovely roberto jordan? why i ask you? usually a bad ending seems right to me, and it does now, and it isn't REALLY a bad ending, but why couldn't you let roberto and maria live happily ever after? you already made the point that war sucks. you made that point. damnit ernest it's not fair. :( .................................................. people are discovered in all the cruelty and inhumanity when we get to politics. because politics here in israel is not avoidable since it isn't politics it is life. what the army does is not some war far of in afghanistan, it is what WE do. and the people that die every day aren't soldiers far away from home, it is people like me who went to a bar or a coffee house or to buy things for dinner oblivious to the fact they will die in a terrorist bombing. you have the stupid ones which are brainwashed. those ones aren't neccesarily unintelligent, but they don't really have their own political thought and are highly influenced by the media and israeli propaganda. they are frustrating for thinking what they think, but must be forgiven. and you have the intelligent ones. the ones with a whole web of cruelty inside their minds, not CARING about people dying on the palestinian side, knowing they suffer all the time, knowing they die 5 times more than us, knowing that they live like animals there in the palestinian territory, being bombed, getting thier houses torn down, losing their homes and most of all their families. and they agree that they suffer. but they say it's right. because it's revenge for the bombings here in israel. because we are the just ones whatever we do and they are the stubborn ones looking for war. (we are just trying to protect ourselves...) those ones drive me crazy and those ones are all around me those ones are very often my friends too and that's why i should never get into politics with anyone. because i don't mind being disagreed with but i do mind how incredibly blind you are to suffering and i hate you when you say your ideas and i love you as a friend so let's just shuttup and never speak again about politics. .............................................. ciao for now |