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nourishing my self pity glands.
2002-04-03 3:05 a.m.

a few weeks ago ofer told me how he thinks being calm isn't only a mental condition, it's a way of life.

i told him so is neurosis and uptightness.

..............................................

i want your pity. i want you to tell me how difficult my situation is. i want you to tell me that yes it sucks. that yes everything will be alright and yes we admire you for what you go through. i want you to tell me how it isn't easy. how i didn't get it the easy way round. how the cards life dealt me are tough. how my problems are much bigger than yours. i want you to ask me how i even handle it all. i want you to tell me how you couldn't go through the things i'm going through.

i want your pity damnit, and i want it now, and i'm not ashamed to say it.

even if you think i'm a load of crap and i don't deserve pity. even if you think your problems are bigger than mine. even if you think i should be thankful for all the good things i have and which maybe you don't.

cause pity can be a wonderful thing. and if you won't give it to me i'll give it to me.

.................

my eyes were watery not a long time ago. what a good night out with your friends can do to you...... marvellous things. marvellous i tell you.


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