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kitten trauma. i just drove back home, 4 a.m. i was about to park my car when i saw something small and black twitching on the egde of the road. at first i thought it was a rat. i didn't mind too much. i figured it was searching for something or doing something unpleasent like rats tend to do. then i came closer. it was a kitten. a tiny kitten. moving it's feet frantically in the air. trying to stand i guess. first i parked at the other side of the road, and told myself i should just go home. this was a dying cat and i shoudn't come closer i should walk away walk away now there's nothing i can do. but i came closer. the kitten had it's eyes closed. it weeped. it didn't meaow. it made high pitched pain sounds. it waved it's palms in the air like a cockroach on it's back. it was dying. then i thought maybe it was just a little kitten which doesn't know how to stand up and lost it's mommy. maybe all it needs is for me to lift her and put her on her legs. and even if it was dying i should at least pick her up of the road, shouldn't i? my head was spinning and my heart was breaking. the poor thing. so i took 2 nylon bags and put them on my hands in case it had diseases and went to the kitten and lifted it and it was so light it weighed nothing at all and then it started to move in my hands and weep even harder and i blacked out and panicked and then i dropped her from my hands to the sidewalk just like i would have dropped yulia (my 7 year old cat). but she was not meant to be thrown. small dying kittens shouldn't be dropped that way. cats evidentally don't always land on four legs. they sometimes land on their backs. shit. i probably broke some bones in her body. i kept muttering to myself " no no no no no no no no no" and grabbing my hair. the kitten was on the sidewalk weeping. still moving. i couldn't think of anything else i could do and i was panicking. then the kitten stopped moving. i don't think it died but it stopped moving. for a while at least. and i went home shaking. |