shut up already you little pussy crybaby.
2002-07-06 10:32 p.m.

i despise my frame of mind.

let's not say i hate myself, let's just say i hate my current state of mind. to be diplomatic that is.

and current is a far too short of a phrase. cause it's not current it feels like forever.

i hate the shit my mind insists everytime on dealing with. i hate it.

when i sometimes look objectively at thoughts that went through my mind during a certain conversation, i feel like killing myself. yet i keep on thinking them nonetheless.

i said it once and i'll say it again - my brain is my least useful organ.

if i don't lose control soon i'll explode. i'm always under control. everything i do is out of cold rationalization. even the happiness. even the depression. even the annoyance. even the laughter. it's all pre-decided. i can't decide to stop deciding everything though.

this entry too was well thought of and thus it might be fake and maybe even unrepresentetive. after that last sentence i hate myself even more.

ha!

oh shut up already i don't believe a word you write.