<<<< |
new |
>>>> |
dreams i wake up with a pounding heart from powerful dreams all the time lately. my dreams are fucking unbelievable. i never get what i want in them though. i never give myself the pleasure of satisfaction. i was in my room with elad ronen. he, alongwith another kid, were two of my best friends all my childhood until i was 15. then they decided they didn't like me, probably because i wasn't cool enough, and ditched me. i never think about them anymore. i don't care. when i see them in the street i mumble a hey how are you doing to them just like i would to anyone else from my highschool. they mean nothing. they're dopes too. but i dream about them all the time. i guess childhood is rooted deep inside my brain. i was in my room with elad ronen. and we were talking again. and i told him i was gay. and after he while he said " if you were gay why didn't we hook up back then?". he's a stud. he is extremely good looking and he has a giant dick. even then when we were 14. and then we started making out. my heart was pounding. and he tried to jack me off. and i wouldn't cum. and then he stopped, angrily, and told me i wasn't gay if i didn't cum. he was furious. as if i lead him on. he said " my dick isn't even erect , i'm leaving ". and he stormed out. and i woke up. with a throbbing dick and a pounding heart and a deep feeling of guilt. insane i tell you. mmmpff. they'll kill me one day these dreams. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . maybe i'm ready. and maybe i'm not. it's not up solely up to me anyway. |