alchohol entry.
2004-08-07 4:52 a.m.

one and a half litre of beer and i remember the intsensity of the feelings i used to have.

if you're looking for an idea to live for, then there you have it, that feeling is what i should live for.

i've grown up and forgot a bit what it feels like to feel, to really fuckin feel. i miss dor eventhough he's just a symbol of a time which has gone, a symbol of feelings which my maturity has abandoned. dor in himself is unworthy. and (o *&^$3. h$&s @%&t @$^&th*( symb0l. yeah well.

let's finish the army and start living again. this time let's explore the instensity of happiness, i've explored sadness and frustration enough. eventhough some sadness wouldn't be too bad. numbness get out of here.

next time i'll try to pick my ^#&&nd@ more wisely.(eventhough most of my picks have been wise). thank you and goodbye. more conclusions : drink more alchohol. and talk to more strangers.

let's sleep and get the alchohol out of my veins. *this entry has been censored by myself after second thought. why? first i thought that i don't want to be cruel to that extent. but then i realised that it's not that i don't want be that cruel, but that i don't want to show it. i don't mind the cruelty itself.