luis
2005-11-10 5:39 p.m.

"how are you doing luis?

i dont have any credit left in my cell phone so i couldn't message you back, but im happy that you miss me already because i miss you too already, and i would be sad if you didnt feel the same :)

we have already been through this but why not say it again - i had a very very enjoyable time with you , i think we got to really deep levels of connection in a short period of time. i feel a bit sad that we couldnt persue a relationship - we would have been a cute couple :) we will stay in touch definitely ( at least if it up to me ), but regardless i hope you will always remember our experiences as something special, because they were very special to me. i think you're a great guy. so that's that.

i've been thinking about it, and according to what you have said, that alejandro guy seems really okay. you say that he is nice to everyone and nice to you, and most of the stories which you told me about where you were suspicious of him didnt strike me as really that suspicious.... and the fact that you're afraid that he isn't true, and that you're afraid that you might get hurt, shows that you think you could get attached to him and that shows you do like him...... im sure it is hard for you to trust people after your bad experiences, i dont think you are crazy at all, it makes perfect sense..... i really think should try to take it easy with him ( or other relationships in the future ) , you can't judge someone after a month to see if he is suitable to be the guy for you forever, just try to have a good time without worrying too much, and when you look at it that way, even if the other guy ends up being an asshole you can say fuck it at least i had a good time and it was his loss..... anyway that is my advice, but just so i dont sound patronizing - i dont think i would have reacted any differently than you if i were in your position, and i would have probably hated people giving me advice like that and sounding so rational when it is all fucked up :/ anyway i just hope you will be happy.

not that it is that important but - i thought about what turned me a bit off yesterday morning and i got to conclusion that when you said that it feels like someone should be inside someone i pretty much wanted to try having intercourse with you, (either way), but the thought kind of stressed me out since i never had intercourse and that's why i reacted the way i reacted. maybe some other time in our life we will get the chance :)

anyway just so you know i love your body!

well my internet time is running low, so take care for now!"

"Hi Dan

I hope this message finds you well. Sorry I couldn't answear back your e-mail before, I had technical issues with my computer at home and I couldn't connect to the internet. By now you are probably far away from the States. I wish you the very best anywhere you go. Of course I would like to stay in touch. You are a very special man and once again I'll say I am so happy to have met you. The times we spent together were amazing. Yes, you are right when you say we reached deep levels of connection and I will always keep those memories as something very dear to me. the thought of us becoming a couple is sweet. With true humbleness I tell you that it makes me feel very good that such a great guy like you might be interested in me.

I am so glad you brought up the comment I made "It feels like someone should be inside someone" because it allows me the opportunity to explain what I was feeling at the moment whe I said it. I felt a high level of intimacy between you and me. Not exclusively sexual, but rather emotional. I felt I could trust you. The same kind of trust that I struggle to obtain when I date and that you inspired so spontaneously from the very moment we met. I remember the first time I had intercourse. Erika and I were quite scared. We were so inexperienced and so nervous. When it did happen , it was magical. I couldn't believe that I was inside another human being. It's a surreal thought if you look at it that way. When I made that comment my thoughts were so benign. I probably meant something like "It feels like we should be making love" I understand how it could have turned you off but I'd like you to know that I meant something better than mere penetration.

I'm thinking of you constantly

take care"