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memories it seems to me that although i enjoy a big percentage of life, i have this tendency to remember the parts in which i didn't have fun, to make the past seem more morbid and hopeless then it really was, and in general to distort my perception of events for the worse. i think it might be a positive idea, to remember the good times, at least the ones which were more recent, so they wont get tarred by my wicked consciousness i will try to find these numerous joyful events in chronological order, as they appeared from the time i finished with that big 3 year army service thinga magigie. (april 5) waking up at about 5 am, the cold piercing through the sleeping bag, the sleep seeks to linger on...... covering my head with the sleep bag, trying to prevent all contact of head with external air. but it is inevitable, there are 25 kilmoters to finish each day, and after half an hour someone wakes up for good, and wakes the others up with a faint "good morning". everyone is grumpy as hell. the day offically starts with lior ritual fart. everyone packs their stuff in silence, except for a soft (filled with bitterness towards the world) "could you hand me this and that" request. a small breakfeast which consists of stale bread, some water, and then we're ready to go. the cold is bitter, but once the walking starts it becomes bearable, and when the sun comes out and shines you know that life is good. walking walking walking walking walking in a group (mainly the first week) and talking and laughing so much and farting together all the time walking in couples and talking about life and the future walking alone walking in a group and being silent stopping and looking at the map walking in couples and being silent. stopping for a 10 minute rest, and a snack, nothing tastes better then a snack after 2 hours of walking. then we stop for lunch, an hour - 2 hour break depending on how much we have to walk that day. a small arguement on what we should eat and then the decision is made. food consisting of a mixture dry biscuits, some real bread if we're lucky, canned tuna or corn, some cheese, some more dried biscuits, and some more canned tuna or corn. the only thing that tastes better to me then a snack after 2 hours of walking is a can of tuna after 4 hours of walking. and walking again. it is hot and the sun is shining. it is satisfying to look at the map and see how much we walked that day, but the thought of the remaining 6 hours till sundown kills the energy which is left in my leg muscles... we stop after another hour, probably at some peak we got to, the desert with all it's power spread before our eyes to infinity, the silence would have been complete if only those darn flies, those darn fucking flies which never quit buzzing in your ear. and we sit, and eat, and think about the pain in our legs, and look at the desert, and maybe look at each other, and then look again at the desert. and i realise that never before have i felt so whole. then comes sundown, and that blissful feeling of taking my shoes off, and then comes dinner, cooked rice or something of the sort along with dried biscuits, and nothing in the world tastes better than cooked rice or something of the sort after a day's walking. then 20 minutes of go problems from my book, and then sleep, 10 hours of sleep and then again, the chill of the morning pierces through the sleeping bag straight to my bones. i remember skinny dipping on that warm day in that pool with all the green stuff with lior i remember eating that wonderful all you can eat meat the day before we started i remember singing that beeges song on the morning we started walking i remember what i thought during the first 10 minutes which were steeply uphill (shit this is heavy) i remember the first time we sat down to eat and some food went tumbling downhill i remember the few days when i was only with nir, the talking and the silence i remember jacking off inside my sleeping bag at night with the cool breeze in my face i remember the sunset over the desert crater i remember the view from the eilat mountains, standing there everything laid out before my eyes, eilat and the sea far away but in sight i remember the joy of cutting small corners from the path, saving 2 more grams of energy i remember how it felt to dig the bottled water out of the ground, and drink it, that day when we were partially dehydrated cause we ran out of water..... i remember those fabulous few days when we slept at those girls house in that small village, the joy of resting and watching TV and eating good i remember the first time i smoked a joint (the wind blew almost everything away) i remember sitting down, and watching for 2 hours how those camels just walked by us, so calm i remember playing backgammon, so much backgammon, all the time i remember singing abba and queen songs together as we walk i remember great tea i remember always running uphill, while my friends were struggling, and feeling so proud of myself (weak pussies) i remember that day when i stayed alone in sde boker, and met those other guys, and talked to them and made food with them i remember getting to that beduin place, and lying there on the cusions, and how drinking that coke felt so heavenly i remember 3d but it seems that that will have to be left to a later time since i'm flying in 7 hours ( to vienna, then to bombay, then to goa ) |