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forcing colors down your throat.
2006-10-18 7:49 p.m.

la la la li la la la li la la

trying to get the vibe, blocked by the neurons in the wrong places in my brain, touching my dick, that lump in the throat, those butterflies in my stomach, no reason no reason, no use to reason, no use.

oh god, oh dear god, won't you guide me through this dark labyrinthes of your world?

those colors are coming back, thouse ugly army green colors, coming back but faded, not the same, dull brown which looks like erased teak wood.

if i would have fast forwarded a few years ago to now, would i have been happy? happiness, useless, no reason, no use to reason, but at least trying to get the right color

color, like in those invader zim episodes, with your fat hairy stomach beside me, i wonder, now before we meet again, oh fearless invader zim, i am worried, but thus is my habit, to be worried and reason over things which are better off left to fate, luck, god, and such.

so i will fight back, i will try. i will do my best, and i can't promise more, and the definition of doing my best is succeeding, but if i don't succeed i won't be angry, but i will succeed, and there goes your reason to the garbage.


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