non-trivialitiy.
2008-05-29 6:59 p.m.

but i want to be happy, i really do,
i honestly don't want to cry anymore,
i really do.

It's hard, cause intertia, and sheer emotional spiralling, and the usual attraction to death and depression... make it hard to break free, to keep on trying, to not give in. and the loneliness! and the past disappointments! and the list goes on.

because alchohol and dramatic scenes in the back of the class, with tears, and shit, yeah, well, they have their charm, and satan beckons me closer all the time, and plain old going against the stream, trying to achieve unachievable happiness... seems so mundane! unartistic! and without cynicism, it's even harder.

But i'll try my best to stop thinking about him. And i'll try my best to go on. Not sure i will be able to do it, but at least i tried, and i mean it, i fucking mean it dan, i want to be happy. Not a trivial thing to honestly want, very much non-trivial to be able to want it, as Uriah's case clearly exmplifies, and by some stantards my case does too.

here we go.