sign of the times #6
2008-11-30 12:46 a.m.

Before loneliness will break my heart,
send me a postcard darling.

He pushes my head further down, my mouth holding his cock, and i fight the gag reflex, and he pushes my head further, and i'm horny as hell, as he asks me if i want him to cum on my face, and this is fun, and i say sure, and he asks if i will like to fuck again, and i say let's finish this one first!
and after that i jack off on him, must beware to get all my cum on his shaven stomach, so as to not to mess with his mother's sheets. Afterwards he stares at me, and says i'm not calm, not equanimous enough, i need coaching, he has knack for spotting restlessness with people. I tell him fuck off.

How can I make you understand?
I wanna be your woman.
Here, here I'm waiting for a little sign,
waiting 'til the end of time.

And i think. Should i take the apartment? or not? The room is big, and it has a balcony, but it doesn't really feel homy. But then again, it's with a friend of mine, and it's close to my sister, and it saves me looking for an apartment, but i wanted the smaller room! and what about the dog? i want the dog! But then again i can always change my mind. And what about that it's close to uriah? that's fucked up. But the brain says yes, and the heart says no, and anyway what do i have to search for in tel aviv? but then again what do you i have to search for in jerusalem? And will i envy bengal and his boyfriend? Will i find my home in Tel aviv? Will i find a job? What about the global economic crisis? And i ask my mother, what will i be, will i pretty? will i be rich?

Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a postcard now.
Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a postcard now.

And i don't have enough money for the beer, so even though the date isn't going so well, he needs to pay for my beer, and he says he likes living above the barber, and i say who gives a fuck about the barber, anyway you only need to go once in 2 months or so, and he says he goes every month, and i take a glance at his oh so very dwindling hair, and i let slip " you hair grows fast?", and he stammers and says yeah, and on our way back home he asks me if i want to fuck, and i say i don't know, i think not. and then after he takes me to the dark place, i tell him i'm sure not.

can't taste the lonely night,
I need someone I can turn to.
Look out for the day I get a little sign,
I want to know you're all mine, nowwww..now please dont let me down, aint no lover like me in town. Send me a postcard darling.

Courses i'm taking
Internet technologies. Html yay?
Cognition and computability. Vectors Yay?
Computational geometry. Convex hull yay?
human vision, a computational approach. yay?
Databases. SQL yay?
Mathematical useful course. Derivatives yay?
Seminar on AI. yay?
Image processing. yay?

Send me a postcard now.
Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a postcard now.
Before loneliness will break my heart,
send me a postcard darling.

And i still check his profile once a day, but i don't care anymore. It's just something i do. Though i still love him, or whatever.

How can I make you understand?
I wanna be your woman.
here, here I'm waiting for a little sign,
waiting 'til the end of time.

And i sit there in the theater, and Othello whines about some shit, and my mind wanders, and i see how he has sex with her - she's studying, and he comes and pets her hair, and starts kissing her neck, and she turns around, and he touches her back and slowly and with so much feeling he takes her shirt off, and she makes a small pat on his oh-so-beautiful cock, and they go to the bed, and they get naked, oh so slowly, with so much love, and he goes down on her, and she stops her breath for a second or two, and he kisses her, and he inserts slowly his cock into her, and they look into each others eyes, and he stays there for a minute or two, and they're happy, and my right eye twitches, and my left toe squirms.

Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a poscard now.
Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a postcard now.

And when the kid in the movie says how his step father hits him, i cry.
And i'm excited for my new life, and i'm scared as shit, cause if this doesn't work too, then i'll be running out of Plan B's. But there's no reason is shouldn't work! It's such a beautiful setup, jesus himself would feel bad to ruin it. It's these kind of stuff he sacrificed himself for, so boring people like me will get the boring stuff we need, if only we are good enough. And i'm on the bus, and i wonder if i'm happy, and i wonder if i'm not, and i don't know.