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DEPRESSION these days are hard. so very hard. a usual muttering session goes like this - " i-cant-deal-with-this-anymore-i-cant-deal-with-this-any-more-i-cant-deal-with-this-any-more-i-cant-deal-with-life-any-more-i-CANT-deal-with-life-any-more-i-cant-deal-with-my-self-any-more-I-cant-deal-with-my-self-any-more-I-cant-deal-with-my-self-any-more-i-cant-do-this-battles-any-more-i-cant-do-this-battles-any-more-I-CANT-DO-THIS-BATTLES-ANY-MORE-i-dont-want-to-win-battles-i-dont-want-to-lose-them-i-dont-want-battles-at-all-i-WANT-OUT-i-WANT-OUT-just-leave-me-alone-loved-ones-just-leave-me-alone-i-cant-deal-with-my-self-any-more......................................................". .......................................... today i layed on the bench below my building and closed my eyes and cryed for a while, and when i looked up this cat was sitting near me watching me. she had this look like she had been watching me for a long long time. she had this look of wisdom. it has to be a sign of some sort. or maybe just nature laughing at me. .......................................... i just now had this 2 hours spilling out my thoughts icq conversation with dor. im not sure if it was a good idea to tell him all that. im not sure at all. how will it be the next time i meet him? did i just give up a friendship by telling him almost everything or did i start one? the thing that saddens me that no way could i have had this conversation in real life. no way. stupid me. ........................................ quote of the day " DEPRESSION- the state of being depressed. depressed - to be very sad. sad -unhappy, causing unhappy feelings. unhappy - not happy. happy- feeling or expressing pleasure. contentment, satisfaction, etc." this journey through the english language and shallow existentialism was brought to you by oxford dictionary. |