The next step
2008-06-23 9:26 a.m.

and now?

trying to focus on the music, it must be jazz, or something happy, any other thing just will make me fall apart.

i realise that i'm as close as ever to flipping, that the first bus to clinical depression is already on the road, and total loss of my mental health is nearing.

and that now - i really have to stop playing these games. I see him, and more than aynthing else in the world, i don't want to be him. nothing artistic about his situation.

just to think a moment ahead for a while, just to focus on the music, just to focus on my studies, on my job, tell my friends how miserable i am, but not linger on it. To be strong,
is the only choice, but now, it has to be for real.
no other choice