SDFH#LQK$TJKLJSKLDG!J%$$^KLJKL$JKL$JKLSVDBJ#L^KJ@$KLJR^KLJ$%^$#L
2002-12-18 6:14 p.m.

i was never in more dire need of psychological help than now.

i don't think i've ever felt such helplessness before.

i tried making myself throw up in the bathroom a couple of times. i didn't really have a logical reason. it just felt like the right thing to do. but i didn't eat a whole day before that so even those attemts were futile. and the tears and the insane laughter and the loss of breath and the feeling of sharp pains in my heart.

but i'm feeling better.

next time i know not to fuck in my dad's car. it leaves a smell apparently.

please please please please don't do me 'the talk' now, shimon. please. please. i beg you.

god i'm in the gutters.

even now, i'm coping. hardly but i have no choice.