uriah, last
2008-06-23 9:14 a.m.

and this time, there was no poetics in it. it was ... menial. no use transcribing it word to word.
basically

me : hey.

him: hey. how are you?

me : okay. a bit of this a bit of that. u?

him: as usual, nothing new. the sea is the same sea, and nothing new under the sun.

me: *trying to make witty comment *.

him : dan, what do you want from me?
you told me you don't want to hear from me, why did you contact me now.

me: correcting him that that's not correct. *evading an honest answer*

him : i'm not up for small talk these days. if you want to say something real, say it.

me: i miss you.

him : that's nice to hear.
and now, explaining how he really has been. drugs, and more drugs, and psychiatric 3 times a week, and the body failing on him, and more drugs, and how it's so romantic with all he drugs, and with the friends that abandon you. * insert more lamenting here *

me : nice to hear it back.
and now explaning how i've been doing.
in short- crying, and some more crying, and some more crying.
then saying how i love him, in so many words, and how i'm sorry for him.
so, no more small talk?

him : go see a shrink or a psyhciatrist before it's too late. *insert bitter remark how everyone is sorry for him, and say to him stuff "if you kill yourself we'll kill you"*. some more bitter remarks, about him, and some more lack of feelings for me. a cold apology for being so egoist, but that's how he is these days to everyone. He knows he hurts me, and maybe some day he'll give me a better answer. (in so many words, i couldn't care less right now, since i'm so miserable ).
*insert bitter and uncalled for remark against me*

me :
right.

i guess this time it's really the last we'll talk for real. i assume that's what i was looking for in the first place, even at the price of ruining our poetic breakup from last time. too bad we didn't fuck. bye.