follow the yellow brick road
2001-05-27 1:54 a.m.

today i was alone all day. my only real human contact was 1 minute with my cousin, during which i actually left the house. otherwise its just me and i.

solitude. but i dont really mind. at least not at the moment. the hell with it. im here, and im feeling just fine. i think.

i asked dor on the icq the meaningful stupid question : "did i disappoint you?" well he didnt answer it, im not even sure if he got it. and even if he did get it he wouldnt have anthing to say. the thing is that i built a picture in my mind of a guy who knows my reality, and just glued it on innocent little dor.

but poor him he is not what im looking for. and ofcourse im not what he's looking for since he's not gay. i think. and im not gay. or am. or not. or am. or......

i just had to make dor what he is in my mind to prove myself i am not afraid to think about men that way. yes thats it. psychology rules.

just a clarification: it might come out as if i had this huge crush on him. well i didnt. just thoughts. wandering thoughts.

okay if you readers out there are feeling puzzled, and feel the need to categorize my sexual identity in your mind, well you're in deep shit. you might ask some expert regarding that one. not me. and let me know if you find out the truth.

im clueless.

and anyway i think it would be unfair to myself if i decided before having at least one sexual or romantic experience...... so common im waiting.

here kitty kitty kitty.

quote of the day : "follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD, FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD, FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!"