stabilization?
2001-06-09 5:23 a.m.

i think i a bit exaggerated. yesterday's entry was really sad. and the week which just ended, all in all, was a good one. it was filled with small satisfactions, such as good tests, watching a really good nba game in which the team i was rooting for won, buying good music discs and most importantly pretty good social interactions. actually i havent been meeting my friends a lot, but thats because everyone has tests. just 2 more weeks and "party time" hopefully......

I probably just enojy pitying myself and bitching about life, and thats why i sometimes write sadder entries than i should. altough at times i really am close to mental breakdown, so its not as if i always do that.

i think my personality is finally getting stablized. i sure hope so . i sure hope this isnt just a good period, which will end in a week or so, returning to my past stupid shit. i still have to go a long way,im still not happy with who i am and how i act, but i really feel that im on the right road. let it be the right road please.

bought a disc today by patti smith -"horses". heard it once. fun fun fun fun fun fun fun music. but then after taking it out of the stero it got stuck, and scratched. now that enormously annoyed me. i kept looking again and again and again at the scratch, praying it will disapper the next time i look at it. it didnt surprisingly.... but hell i shoudln't let myself be so obsessive - its not that improtant, and even if the disc did get ruined i could always get another one. forutunately my parents aren't really short on cash..... ITS NOT WORTH THE MENTAL PAIN, its just a replacable cd.

ok good. sometimes rationalizing can help you a bit with unrational thoughts.

well i dont really have any quote stored nearby in my mind, so i'll just put the definition i happened to stumble upon looking thorugh the oxford dictionary of the word "orgy" - "an occasion of wild MERRY MAKING."

well its very silly to put that here in my diary, but i dont care. merry making amuses me. hahahaha. merry making. hahahaha. merry making. hahahahahah. (a bit childish... lol_)