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actually not scary. soothing. oh so very much. society likes pretending that it is composed of normal people. that the strange one's are few. but NO. because there are so many freaks in my neighberhood alone that it's scary. or moreover : soothing. to women i met today at 5:00 a.m. : i'm happy you feel the freedom to start talking to me and asking me for my extra newspaper. i'm happy you're so friendly. and yes i'm sad that you're in financial trouble. yes yes yes i'm sorry that you're totally broke. but for DEAR HEAVEN'S : WHAT IN THE EARTH MADE YOU THINK THAT ME, AN 18 YEAR OLD, WOULD WANT OR BE ABLE TO LOAN YOU MONEY??!?!?!? freak. and they have the nerve to tell me i'm the weirdest human being they've met. (people in general. many people.....) ................................................ i haven't call him. yet. dude. call me. ................................................. i'm so very much afraid of becoming a totally different person. of being a shallow boring nothing. of losing you all and most of all myself. (so what if i'm gay?) ................................................. perceptions : "is death a dead end in the road, or a curve that's too sharp to see around, and where should i eat lunch?" ................................................. i have no complaints. to anyone. except myself. and even those are few. (right now i mean). |