other people
2006-03-28 8:47 p.m.

my mind has decided to close itself

i was full of love. now wherever i look i shoot arrows of critism like i used to

i felt the world around me. now i feel the factory inside my brain.

i felt god. i KNEW god. now i don't.

i forgot cynicism. now i remembered.

i loved india. now? well i need some
rest.

i didn't feel the need to write here. ( as always my dear diary you are just functional how sad for you ) .

i was really really happy for a while. and now - well, things aren't bad, but can't really say they're really good.

i realise that this is the cycle of myself, everyone has is own pace, and that's how i work evidently, no escaping it, no good lasts just as no bad lasts. i realise that, and i don't fight it, i don't accept it, but i don't fight reality. i will do my best to go back to where i was before, and i will take the bad with as much acceptance as i can.

so nepal, here i come. india ? don't worry i still love you, just need to see other people for a while.
.......................
they told me they accept death with love, no sadness in their eyes

that the burning body goes straight into the sky with the love of mother ganga right beside it

but all i saw was men weeping their heart out.
.......................