might.
2008-12-20 2:31 p.m.

One word, and immediately it takes me out of the usual thoughts of what to say, and how am aiasfffffffiwm it's like if you can't really trust safdasd fyour best friendsasdfsdfsf right, or not? asdfrwtret and as my grandfather sits there in his bed in intensive care, i thinksadfertoij that maybe it's better that he dies nowaetwetst so as to save the probalbyrhrh years of physical sufferingdf gthat and then i think so what if he didn't call and want to meet me, anyway it was always faking being friends, we weren't compatible, and wetdadfgdfggdfg and i'm tired, and suddenly i make myself change my image of myself, artyt;lkj , and then i fall asleep and i dream that it's like alice in wonderland, but maybe a video game, and not, i'm actually thinking about the wizard of oz which i loved so much, aterdhflfdkj and then i become strong dan, and i sit in the pub and i don't give a fuck anymore, and i know that i have the choice, to make a big deal out of it or not, and i sit in the pub,and i watch all the people, and i know i have the choice, to think that they're all pathetic, just because you think probably falsely that you see through them, and hate them all because you don't feel comfortable with yourself, or you can accept that you're part ofret34tdffdsgshthem, and my grandfather says that lying in intensive care makes him realize that our bodies are just machines, and i've heard it before from him, he usually says the same stuff, and i look at the clock to see when the visiting hours are over, because my feet hurt from standing that much, 34dsgfdgdf, and i walk there in the street, and i think what i need to change, and if you can't get what you want, jussadfasfhfghsadf and i start talking to another guy in atrafnadawerwer and i wake up a bit nauseauiatgihghng from the alchohol, and my mouth hurts that wound in my mouth and i don'tsarw43rwerfeela erte like getting outeatf of bed, asdfsdfsafd and i disgust myself, ormaybe i don't, which might be a problem.