at the fringes
2001-06-04 3:44 a.m.

its about midnight. going out of the house with my discman in search of a good place to unite with my music. (feeling confused and afraid)

the place i had in mind contained unwanted strangers, so i moved on. going to a small park nearby. its pretty dark. there are sprinkles everywhere. alone. quiet besides the sound of a vehicle once in a while. find a spot as far away from sight. hidden behind a small cement building. just between the sprinklers. (feeling uptight).

putting my headphones, hearing my cd, wondering about life. watching fearfully if anyone is coming. (still a bit tense).

i slowly calm down, feeling more and more like myself. no one will come to that place at 1 a.m. and if so who cares. just me and my music. and the sprinklers. at 1 am. in a dark park. surreal.

then suddenly all the sprinklers stop, except one which by a strange coincidence turns straight to me. i get a bit wet. first i think i should move. than i say fuck it. (internally giggling at my situation).

so i hear my music, and every 40 seconds or so the sprinkler turns to me. each time it does i raise my arms and defend my headphones from getting wet. like a robot. or like a child saluting the sprinkler. i get soaking wet. and i like it. might get the flu. who cares. im alone yet not feeling lonely. (laughing, heart smiling).

disc ends. i get up. go home. wet to the bones. happy. solitude can rock sometimes. :). i dont ever want to come down back to reality.

quote of the day : "and in an intastella burst, im back to save the universe"