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be strong. a) my only apparent reader (teacupstorm) was surprised to hear i have glasses, after i talked about them in yesterday's entry. only in the past year have i began wearing glasses, since my eyesight skills have been strangely ( or not so ) diminished. if anyone ever tells you that eating a lot of carrots helps you keep perfect eyesight, i say spit in his/her fucking eye. EVEN if its your grandmother! anyway i have a pretty small prescription number, but i have been wearing my glasses a lot, first of all cause i have to drive with my glasses on, and second of all since they just plain look good on me. yep im one of the few lucky ones who dont look bad in glasses. and third of all sometimes, how freaky it may sound, having that glass thing on my face has the mental effect of having something protect me. it SOMETIMES makes me feel less naked. thats it. ................................................. b)these days are messy. i dont have time. its all work-study-friends-family. not that that's bad, but i dont have enough time with myself. i dont have enough time to hear my music. i dont have enough time to read my book. i dont have enough time to do all my psychometric homework. that'll all soon change. and partly because im losing myself in social interaction, its all messy. i dont have enough time to rememeber who i am. i dont have enough time to think and get to the needed conclusions about my social interactions. i feel lost. sure i could find the time, and not meet my friends as much, and not be as much infront of the computer etc, but that'll suck too. hmmmm i dont know. ................................................. c) its that voice again. that MOTHERFUCKING voice. im not sure anymore how to get rid of it. i need to think about how to think less. confused? good. ................................................. d) when i wrote "FUCK OFF" to dor yesterday, i didnt mean it. thats just frustration talking. ................................................. e) i STILL havent shaved, 2 month now. since this. it still looks good i think. although i HAVE been called lately "caveman" and "arab" by people more than usual. he he . ............................................... quote of the day : "im begging you, voice, go away. this is my plead". be strong. |