full moon
2002-01-30 2:16 a.m.

my dream last night was terrifying. i was on a beach. and on the beach there were many sea lions.

and they were big with those white things coming out of their nose and their shiny skin which reflected the moonlight into my eyes.

then they attacked me. those 5 meter monsters, with their open mouthes, with all their fast wiggly movement on the sand, were chasing me.

they didn't have good intentions. no they didn't. those beasts.

i think i managed to stay alive somehow.

................................................

2 nights ago i dreamt that i was in a middle of a family trip and i stole the car and drove to a cliff. but it wasn't just any ordinary cliff - it was 11 miles high or something.

that's high.

my intention was jumping from the cliff to that big white snowy terrain 11 miles below me, but then all the people i knew came and talked me out of commiting the act of suicide.

when i woke up i had 2 sensations : one of remembering the sheer height of rock i was going to jump from. the second feeling was regret - the only reason i didn't jump was because i was too chicken to do it.

i should have done it.

.................................................

today is a full moon.