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dor i was fighting with myself to call you i thought i should call you i thought i did the right thing two days ago when i canceled on you but you thought i was being a bitch. i didn't mean to hurt you. then i thought maybe i didn't do the right thing. maybe i was wrong and you were right. but still i think i'm right. but for the possibility that i was wrong i thought i should call you. that i should tell you this and make you understand how i never meant any harm. how canceling on you had nothing to do with not caring about you. but it took me great strengthes to call you. to even admit the possibility that i was wrong. i thought you would appreciate it. you SHOULD have appreciated my effort. the effort to say i'm sorry even though it rips my inner organs apart. you should have. IT RIPPED MY INNER ORGANS APART BITCH but you didn't. you bitter bitter idiot. fuck you. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck you. it's your loss. not realizing what you had. that was my last effort and your'e not worth any more efforts if that's how you react. that was my last effort for our friendship. if YOU make the efforts i'll love you again. any effort. it doesn't seem as if you will. but no more one sided efforts. i can't love people who only give a shit about me when they see a chance to get offended by me. you don't give a shit about me. you're a friend not a lover and this much effort should not be put into friendships especially if it's one sided. so fuck you. i'm just walking away. prove me otherwise and i won't walk away. i'm through with sleepless nights about you. there you have it dor. ........... |