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yuchy i guess some facts about my circumstantial existence: ................................... i have a beard. I didnt take my shaving machine to Portugal, and since then i havent shaved. and i like my beard. it does make me look more mature, and most everyone seems to say its cute/nice. and eventhough my hair is a light brownish color, my beard is definately more reddish/orangish. which is nice i guess. ......................................... my aunt has cancer. breast cancer. she's not really close to me, i only see her once a year or so...... so im not REALLY sad eventhough i should be. i hope very much she gets rid of the cancer though.... my mom said she has about a 50 50 chance. sigh. ......................................... Ehud, one of my best friends ( along with nir, lior, and maybe dor ) , is going to the army on thursday. we'll go with him to the army place, and say goodbye to him. yeah we will see him once every 2 weeks or so, and talk to him on the phone alot, but it'll never be the same again. NEVER. it'll very very weird and sad after he's gone. :( . ........................................ i slept at dor's place yesterday and thats why i didnt write an entry. nice chap. but i make things more complicated than they should be, mixing up feelings which dont belong in the friendship i might have with him. go away feelings. shoo shoo. ......................................... today's emotions : waking up, feeling really sucky, physical and mental feelings of frustration, physical and mental feeling of wanting to throw up because of myself. then dancing ecstatically nude in my living room to patti smith. feeling good. then returning to first yuchy feeling, seeing how all the day is blown away, suffocating because of myself and my bad thoughts. then meeting friends ( ehud, lior, nir, shira, ayelet, dor ) for 5 hours or so until now. at first really fun. at the end again sucky/tired. thus i feel now sucky/tired. ......................................... quote of the day : "im dancing barefoot heading for the spin some strange music drags me in makes me come on like some heroin/e" |